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Consanguinamory (from Latin consanguinitas, "blood relation", and amor, "love") is the practice of or desire for intimate relationships with an adult relative or family member. It has been described as "Consensual sex or marriage between close family members or relatives.".[1][2][3][4]

People who identify as consanguinamorous hold the view and that family members can form loving and intimate relationships and reject the view that consensual sexual and romantic relations between family members is immoral.[5][6]

Consanguinamorous arrangements are varied, reflecting the choices and philosophies of the individuals involved, but with recurring themes or values, such as love, intimacy, honesty, integrity, equality, communication, and commitment.


Terminology Edit

The first known usage of the word consanguinamory was on May 22nd, 2011 in a blog post on Full Marriage Equality which has defined the term as "Consensual sex or marriage between close family members or relatives" or as "sexual or romantic love between close genetic or blood relatives", and has defined consanguinamorous as "In or oriented to a romantic, dating, courting, or marital relationship or engaging in sex with a close relative. Consanguineous sex can be expected between those who practice consanguinamory."[7][2] The word is defined by the blog Consanguinamory as a romantic "love of family members".[3] Yet another definition from a well-known blog in the consanguinamory community defines the term as "Incest between consenting adults, or between consenting minors close in age" or "consensual incest."[8].

No single definition of "consanguinamory" has universal acceptance. Many individuals would define consanguinamory as a relationship practice or form, while some believe that it should be classified an orientation or identity (like sexual orientation or gender identity).[1] Most definitions agree that consanguinamory includes a practice of or desire for loving relationships between consenting adult family members, including consensual adult incest. Areas of difference arise regarding whether relations between non-blood relatives (such as step-siblings or adopted siblings) count as consanguinamorous, whether consanguinamory includes the concept of marriage, and also whether the term applies exclusively to relations between consenting adults, or if it also applies to between consenting minors who are close in age.

A common question that comes up is whether consanguinamory is just another word for incest. There are some very important differences between the two terms. Consanguinamory includes romantic non-sexual expressions of love, while definitions of incest are usually stated in terms of sexual activity, cohabitation, and/or marriage restrictions. So for example a brother and a sister writing love letters to each other is an example of consanguinamory but not incest. And incest includes non-consensual acts such as sexual assault, while consanguinamory is only consensual sexual and romantic activities. Most people who identify as consanguinamorous would agree that their relationships are a form of consensual adult incest, but many prefer to not to use the term "incest" since it's commonly confused for rape and child sexual abuse, which has no place in healthy and loving consanguinamorous relationships.

FormsEdit

There are many variants of intimate relationships between family members, and they vary along four main dimensions: consanguinity, blood relatives vs non-blood relative, monogamous vs polyamorous, and, in the case of siblings, whether or not the people were raised in the same family or in different families and then met later in life as adults.

In particular, there are many forms of consanguinamory, for example:

Cultural diversity Edit

Consanguinamory is closely associated with values, subcultures and ideologies that favor individual freedoms and equality in sexual matters – most notably, those reflected by sexual freedom advocacy groups such as Woodhull Freedom Foundation & Federation, National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and the American Civil Liberties Union.

Consanguinamory, polyamory, and BDSM often face similar challenges (e.g. negotiating the ground rules for unconventional relationships, or the question of coming out to family and friends).

The consanguinamory community is a diverse group of people including people who are LGBT (for example two adult gay brothers who pose no risk to genetic defects from inbreeding), people who are polyamorous (for example a triad between a man, a woman, and her mother), as well as people who are into kink and BDSM activities.[1]

As a practiceEdit

ValuesEdit

  • Fidelity and loyalty: Many consanguinamorists are monogamous and define loyalty as committing to only one partner (at a time), and having no other sexual or relational partners during such commitment. Some consanguinamorists are polyamorous and have the values of fidelity and loyalty within polyamory, such as being honest and forthcoming with their partners with respect to their relational lives, and keeping to the commitments they have made in those relationships.
  • Communication and negotiation: Because there is no "standard model" for consanguinamorous relationships, and reliance upon common expectations may not be realistic, consanguinamorists often advocate explicitly negotiating with their partner to establish the terms of their relationships, and often emphasize that this should be an ongoing process of honest communication and respect. Consanguinamorists will usually take a pragmatic approach to their relationships; many accept that sometimes they and their partner will make mistakes and fail to live up to these ideals, and that communication is important for repairing any breaches.
  • Trust, honesty, dignity, and respect: Most consanguinamorists emphasize respect, trust, and honesty. While consanguinamorists usually cannot come out and tell others about their relationship, due to the discrimination and persecution of such relationships, most believe in being open and honest with their partners.

Specific issues affecting relationshipsEdit

One of the most common issues affecting consanguinamorous relationships is discrimination from society and fear of being found out. Consensual adult incest relationships between siblings and also between parents and their adult offspring is prohibited in most countries, and so people in these relationships usually need to keep their relationship a secret. The need for secrecy, the effects of discrimination, and fear of being found out sometimes cause mental health issues for people practicing consanguinamory.[9]

If found out, people in consanguinamorous relationships, especially those in relationships with immediate family members, are sometimes sent to jail and sometimes lose custody of their children.[5] [10]

ResearchEdit

Research on consanguinamory is currently very limited due to the stigma associated with incest, including consensual adult incest. This makes it hard to get academic funding to conduct research on consensual adult incest. In June 2017, an online survey of 159 individuals in the consanguinamory community was completed.[11] Most of the respondents to the survey were college-educated, about half of the respondents had been in a sibling relationship, almost half were in a parent/adult offspring relationship, and about a fifth of the respondents had been in a relationship with a cousin. Regarding these relationships, about a third of the respondents had been in their consanguinamorous relationship for 1-5 years, about a third had been in their relationship for under a year, and about a third had been in their relationship for over 5 years, with some maintaining a consanguinamorous relationship for 20 or more years. The majority of people in these consanguinamorous relationships did not have children, and those that did tended to have children with someone who wasn't related. The majority of respondents described their consanguinamorous relationship as "loving and healthy", while some described their relationship as "loving but sometimes dysfunctional". When asked how they felt about being consanguinamorous, the overwhelming majority responded that they were comfortable with being consanguinamorous and wouldn’t change it even if they could, and felt there was nothing wrong with being consanguinamorous.

Mission of the Consanguinamorous Rights Movement Edit

In short, our people want and deserve equal rights, and in order to achieve that we must educate the public about us and fight unjust laws which are imprisoning consenting adults. Nobody should be persecuted because of who they love. On my website I cover a wide range of issues relevant to us, and I provide links to useful resources, including a support forum for consang people and their allies.

Other Pages On this Wiki Edit

ReferencesEdit

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 Owens, Michelle (March 19, 2017). "Consanguinamory as an Orientation". Ladyfox Entertainment. Retrieved July 28, 2017.
  2. 2.0 2.1 Pullman, Keith. "Full Marriage Equality: Consensual Incest FAQ". Full Marriage Equality. Retrieved July 28, 2017.
  3. 3.0 3.1 Doe, Jane. "FAQ – Consanguinamory". Consanguinamory. Retrieved July 28, 2017.
  4. Mappin, Laura. "Consanguinamory". Our Taboo Museum. Retrieved July 28, 2017.
  5. 5.0 5.1 Parry, Ryan (August 10, 2016). "New Mexico mother and son fell in love and will go to JAIL to defend their relationship". Daily Mail Online. Retrieved July 28, 2017.
  6. Swift, James (August 27, 2016). "An Interview with An Incest Advocate". Uncommon Journalism. Retrieved July 28, 2017.
  7. Pullman, Keith (May 22, 2011). "Still No Good Reason for Laws Against Consensual Incest". Full Marriage Equality. Retrieved July 28, 2017.
  8. "Some defintions". The Final Manifesto. Retrieved July 28, 2017.
  9. Doe, Jane. "Consanguinamory and mental health". Consanguinamory. Retrieved July 28, 2017.
  10. Connolly, Kate (February 26, 2007). "Brother and sister fight Germany's incest laws". The Guardian. Retrieved July 28, 2017.
  11. Doe, Jane. "The Consanguinamory Study Analysis". Consanguinamory. Retrieved July 28, 2017.

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